Gardening - R.E. Bishop Copywriter

This is a true story told to me by my dad about my Uncle Skippy, who I really admired for his drawing skills . . . mostly beautiful women . . . and his ability to feed the squirrels by hand while sitting on the back porch and for his knowledge about the tree growing in his backyard . . . that had berries my brother and I were told to stay away from, but Uncle Skippy ate them all the time and knew they were good.

There are so many good things I can say about this man who was never married, didn’t own a car, and lived with his sister and brother-in-law most of his life.

But this article isn’t about the drawing, or the squirrels, or the berry tree.

This is about one man’s escapade on a single late afternoon that lasted into the evening . . . as far as anyone could tell.

What does this have to do with gardening, you wonder?

Just wait for it . . .

I’m not sure if I was even born yet when this happened. I’ll have to ask my dad that part, but when my dad told me about this, I was hysterical.

I knew my uncle didn’t drive and this may be one of the reasons . . . possibly THE reason . . . why he didn’t.

Apparently, as the story goes, one afternoon Skippy walked to the bar across the street and drank for hours. I was told it was only 4 or 5, but who knows? The only thing anyone knew for sure was what happened when all was said and done . . . plus, what they were told about the “process”. 😉

As the legend goes, when Skippy was done drinking for the evening he could hardly walk, but he managed to get as far as the curb . . . where he stumbled and fell onto the road.

He felt around to find a way to stand up, but he couldn’t locate where the curb was. Instead, he dragged himself across the road to the curb on the other side where he finally managed to pull himself back to a standing position . . . because of the curb his DID find.

Because of where he lived, there was a center median that split the road and protected the homes on the other side. Skippy apparently didn’t realize where he was in his drunken haze so when he crossed the median and reached the other side, he fell again . . . another curb.

Since dragging himself to the other side of the road worked before . . . he did it again.

Back in those days, traffic was nothing like it is today, so Skippy wasn’t worried about cars coming. It might have helped if a car did drive by because he might’ve had help, but that was another time . . . and no one came.

On the other side of this second street, Skippy pulled himself up again and started walking the rest of the way home.

Who knew grass cold be so dangerous?!

When he crossed the sidewalk, he apparently miscalculated something . . . like whether the house he was facing was where he lived . . . or not?

Regardless, when Skippy’s feet touched the grass he stumbled again, but this time he landed in the neighbors rose bushes, which he destroyed then from his weight crushing them down.

But . . . since dragging himself worked all night so far . . . he did it again, destroying the rose bushes even worse in the process, as well as the lower garden on the other side.

What about the thorns? I wondered the same thing, too and learned he was badly cut up and bruised. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So . . . again with dragging and crawling. He dragged himself out of the gardens, across the neighbor’s lawn, and toward his home.

Once he finally reached his own home and got to the stairs, complete with railing, Skippy was able to pull himself up on to the porch.

But . . .it was a porch and he still had to make it to the front door.

He didn’t.

Skippy was still in a drunken stupor and exhausted from all the dragging and crawling. As a result, he fell backward, down the stairs, landing on his own front yard where he stayed and slept until the rest of the family found him in the morning.

Are you seeing the gardening part now?

But the story isn’t over!

You can imagine that all the roses, smaller flowers, and neighbor’s front lawn had to be replaced and repaired. Lowes and Home Depot didn’t exist in those days, so this work had to done by getting grass seed from the local hardware store . . . believe it or not . . . and flowers from a local nursery or neighbors or start them fresh from seeds or clippings.

Obviously, the neighbors were NOT too happy when they woke up that morning and saw all their hard work to beautify their yard . . . gone.

If this were to happen to you, or me today, I believe the first step would be to take pictures of the damage and file a police report. The second step, for some of us, would be to go to the aforementioned stores, get replacements for the plants and grass, then do the work ourselves to save money.

Saving the receipts in case they’re needed for a potential court case, of course, would be required, too. (People today are ‘sue-happy’). A court case today would probably be blown up to include all kinds of silliness.

Back then, these things were handled amiably between neighbors, as they were in this case.

And so, the legend of Skippy’s evening adventure lives on!

Personally, I prefer to remember the drawings, the squirrels, and the berry tree in the backyard. 😊

Maybe . . . maybe not . . .

Every year, like clockwork, my girlfriend and I go shopping in May to get plants for our gardens.

Cathy is always trying to match the flowers, so the colors look “right” in her container and ground gardens.

Me?

I’m just looking for bursts of color everywhere . . . like when you’re at a carnival and overwhelmed by the sights, colors, and sounds. Of course, the only sounds we hear are the ones coming from whatever wildlife is chatting in the woods. (We both live in the woods.) 🙂

But . . . I digress.

Our favorite place to go each year is Lowes’s Lawn and Garden, which is part of the big Lowe’s hardware store. The ladies there get used to us mighty quickly because with Cathy and me calling to each other across the garden area, it becomes a comedy show that everyone gets involved with.

That’s because Cathy and I have had a long-standing dialogue going over the to-match-or-not-to-match question.

This year Cathy was all about red and yellow while I quickly filled my baskets with one flower from each color pallet. In other words – something red, something blue or purple, something yellow, something orange, and always . . . always . . . sweet alyssum which is white.

I love sweet alyssum for the scent that permeates the air the minute I walk out the front door and it’s perfect for the spiller part of the container garden formula.

What’s the formula you ask?

It’s simple: Thriller, (something tall that catches the eye for height), Filler, (something to fill the middle and move the eye lower), and Spiller, (something to “spill” over the edge of the container and move the eye downward). This gives the person looking at the container a full picture to enjoy.

I never have to worry about green because . . . well, it’s everywhere. The leaves, the stems, the buds before they open. And this time, I chose spikes for the center which were also green, but some years I choose giant begonias, or geraniums. It all depends on what’s available at the time we do our shopping.

Which reminds me . . .

Back to shopping. 😉

So, here I am with my basket filled and ready to go while I’m listening to Cathy and two of the saleswomen laughing and joking all the way on the other side of the floor and I’m wondering, “How much has she picked out,” knowing she hasn’t even started yet. It happens every year.

I follow the laughter and see Cathy, standing at the entrance to the garden center with nothing on her cart. (At least she got the cart).

She sees me and assumes I’m getting impatient, but I’m not. This is exactly what I expected. Believe it or not I look forward to this shopping spree every year because Cathy is always fun.

So, I walk over to see what she’s thinking about as she sees my cart is already full and she tells me she’s thinking about red and yellow. No surprise though. She’s usually obsessed with red, white, and blue, but since she painted her antique fire hydrant red and yellow, I kind of expected her to gravitate to those colors.

Together, we walk through the store, and I watch as Cathy stops at everything she sees in red or yellow and places it in her cart. She asks me each time how they look together, we discuss it, and sometimes she goes all the way back to put something she’d previously picked up back on the shelf where she got it. 🙁

By this time, though, not everything she put in her cart was red or yellow. She keeps saying the words, but when she grabs something in a different color, it’s just because it was pretty.

My point exactly . . . colorful is the way to go.

In her cart, I see red and pink begonias, (ok, she got some red), then yellow calibrachoa . . . or tiny petunias . . . (there’s the yellow!) . . . and orange calla lilies.

Hhmmm, orange. OK. Mix red and yellow together. I get the attraction.

But I didn’t say a word.

She also grabbed regular petunias in different colors, including red, but the yellow ones hadn’t arrived yet, so she ended up with purple, red, and white.

Back to the red, white, and blue. I kind of expected that. She’s very patriot.

Finally, after spending an hour at Lowe’s collecting the flowers Cathy and I came for, we’re ready to check out. Since I had previously put my hanging baskets together, I was only shopping for the two matching pots, Grecian urn style, that sit on the step to my front porch.

But Cathy shops for her front railing pots, hanging baskets, (usually pre-made), mailbox garden, well garden, and whatever else she grabbed just because she liked it that goes wherever she decides later.

Once Cathy checks out, everything is loaded into the back of my truck and we go for coffee to relax, talk about our purchases, where things will be planted, and whatever else comes to mind.

In my case, I bought for the Grecian urns this time, so there was no planning involved. I’d already done that before I picked her up. But Cathy always gets so much that she now has to figure out where at least half of it will go, even though she started the day with a red & yellow color scheme in mind. (I found out later that she went back for more that night.)

Last phase of our annual flower spree . . . taking her back home.

Every year it’s the same. We unload the plants and place them in the general area where Cathy thinks she wants them to go. The plants she’s not sure about, but liked, will go on the side until she figures is out. (Hence, the later trips for more.)

And I go home and immediately plant both Grecian urns.

So . . . you’re wondering what the answer is about container gardens matching or not.

Mine do because I have two urns on the step to the front porch and two hanging baskets. It’s my personal choice. But I have neighbors who have a bunch of container gardens lining a walkway and every pot is different. Still looks enticing.

My personal opinion . . . and it’s just an opinion . . . is that when you’re creating a grand entrance to your porch, then the containers on either side of the stair should match, even if you have more than one stair. The containers on each stair should match even if the flowers are different from the previous stair. It creates a more pleasing entrance for your guests.

But for the entrance along a pathway of any kind, it doesn’t matter what you plant in your containers. It makes the walk along the path more enjoyable for the person walking it, however short or long it might be.

And if you can’t afford to spend a lot on flowers every year, then mix inexpensive statues between your pots to add more flair to your path, even if it’s just the path to your porch.

Opinion time over . . .

Even though Cathy and I both have two different philosophies about choosing and planting our gardens for the season, it doesn’t matter. Cathy’s gardens, including her containers, always look beautiful. And we’ve had another fun shopping trip together.

And some day she’ll realize she doesn’t have to plan a color scheme. She never sticks to it anyway.

But I’m not holding my breath. 😉

Skippy’s Destructive Evening – All on Foot 😊

Do Container Gardens Have to Match?